The Fillet Skillet: Movies

High School Musical

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 04:28:12 GMT

I think I may be the last person in existence who hadn't seen High School Musical. That is until a few days ago.

What can I say? It's a very Disney production. I've never heard quite so many keyboard-esque drum machines or seen so many dubbed lips on so many ridiculously attractive young people grouped together in one place in my life.

I'm not saying it was awful, but I am saying that it's just not in my age-bracket. It's also very... American. If it was made in Britain I'm sure it would be full of fairly ordinary people. Or at least the people in the background would look ordinary. They might be ugly, even.

Even the nerds didn't have any pimples, and that's an established cliché.

It's just something I've noticed, that American TV shows always have heaps of good-looking people in them. Americans are not beautiful people, nor are the British ugly, but the Brits don't seem to have a problem putting their normal-looking people in films.

Just a quick question, is that really what an American high school is like? I mean, sans singing and dancing of course. But do the kids really hole themselves away in those little cliques? Do the basketball guys really only associate with other basketball guys and cheerleaders? Are the popular ones really the sporty ones? Are the nerds really that protective of their... nerdity?

That wasn't quite my experience of high school, but I also went to a private school, so my experience would have been different from half of other Australians as well. But in my school, you had to be attractive, good at sports and academically gifted to actually be 'popular.' At least for the guys. There were a couple of those, and they were all friends, but even they were quite friendly and open to other people.

If you want to know, I hung out with the 'nerds.' I'd use that term lightly, though, because it wasn't as if we were an exclusive group or anything, and we didn't particularly use that term to describe ourselves (except as a joke). It was just some guys who liked to play computer games. I don't really like to play computer games, but I was already friends with a lot of them from primary school, so I got along with them all really well.

Also, hanging around the nerds was not social suicide. We ate in the same place for lunch every day from Year Eight to Year 12 and by the end of that time it became THE place to eat lunch. We had all sorts of people dropping in. It was brilliant.

I suppose my point is, in my experience, people were quite free to float from group to group. People were judged by how they acted, rather than who they hung out with. There were a few tossers, but they were genuinely tossers. It wasn't just that they weren't good looking, because they often were.

A movie set in my old school probably wouldn't be too interesting though, unless it was a documentary or reality-style movie. I think the politics that happen between groups is easier to follow in a movie than the politics that go on between individuals.

High School Musical, of course, ended how it was supposed to from the beginning. The awkward nerd-girl found herself, the socially pressured basketball guy successfully broke social protocol and fell in love with said nerd-girl, who was actually very good looking and not all that hard to fall in love with. Also, basketball boy's best friend and nerd-girl's best friend spontaneously fell in love in the last five minutes of the film. They were also very good looking, but in a quirky not-the-star kind of way. You know, they were black.

Also, what I just wrote were not spoilers - Jeshua and I predicted the whole thing after the first five minutes. I mean, come on, the plot is not what you watch this movie for. You watch it for the singing and dancing and the feel-good 'ahhh' at the end.

But Jeshua did have a really-quite-good idea for a movie. It's a movie almost exactly the same as High School Musical. In fact, it is High School Musical, songs, clichés and all, right up to the point where the two lead characters go up against the evil, blonde brother-and-sister duo for the lead roles in the high school musical.

What happens is that the blonde evil ones win and get the part, and then the film ends, leaving the children confused because their media literacy has just been violated. I think it would be quite educational for them in the long run, because it would broaden their horizons as to how a movie could work, and that they shouldn't have to expect their movies to work in the same, tired, old way.

I'm being quite negative - and let's face it, the voices did rather sound like they'd been run through a computer - but it wasn't so bad that I wouldn't show it to my own children.

Margaret and David... Why I Love Them

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:00:59 GMT

People don't get my obsession with the two movie reviewers, Margaret and David that are on the ABC. These two have been reviewing movies for something like 20 years but nobody seems to understand why I find their show so enjoyable. They say, I suppose quite rightly, that David is about as personable as a plank of wood. However, I think that the banter that goes on between Margaret and he shows that he does, in fact, have a personality. He's actually just a reserved old man, rather than a social cripple. He can actually be very cheeky at times in his own little way. Look how he delights in provoking Margaret into telling her silly story about her dog in the review of the movie The Number 23:

DAVID: Margaret?

MARGARET: I really minded that that dog was called Ned.

DAVID: Well, why? Tell us why?

MARGARET: I gasped during the screening; out loud I was so horrified.

DAVID: Tell the audience why.

MARGARET: Because my dog is called Ned and this one is horrible.

DAVID: And your dog is not as disagreeable as this one?

MARGARET: No. But, you see I grant Jim Carrey a lot of credit on screen and I think, you know, he’s trying to take on interesting stuff and, you see, half of this film I think is really interesting. I love all that business about 23 and I don’t agree with you that he’s dislikeable in this film. I don’t.

But I think what happens is that at a certain point it becomes ludicrous and it’s really a shame that the screenplay loses it and becomes quite so, you know, improbable.

DAVID: Well, it takes itself so seriously and it’s just...

MARGARET: Yes. Yes. However, you know, the most interesting thing, David, was when we came out of the building where we saw this film...

DAVID: You’re not going to...

MARGARET: The number of the building was 2, 3 and then a 5, but 2, 3 was there. On the way home...

DAVID: Come on, Margaret.

MARGARET: ...I got stuck in a tunnel at the Point.

DAVID: For 23 minutes?

MARGARET: And on the side of the road in the tunnel was 23. I’m not joking. It was absolutely spooky.

DAVID: So what are we supposed to glean from this?

MARGARET: I don’t know. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I’m waiting to find out.

DAVID: I think if it’s got anything much to do with this film it’s a pretty bad thing.

MARGARET: Look, I think it’s pretty hysterical. I think it was half good.

DAVID: I’m giving it less than half.

I'm not sure the transcription actually does this pair justice. When you actually watch their show you can just see how much they love the medium and how passionate they are about it. They have polite little spats with each other over different movies and how one thought it was good and the other thought it was horrible, or whether a certain character was played well or was annoying. Take the review for Tideland for example (a film that has taken so long to reach Australia anyone who cares has already downloaded it from the internet). Margaret cannot contain her revulsion and this leaves David in a bit of a state.

Their reviews are generally pretty good too, although they did give a good review to Shooter which I thought was absolute tosh.

I've said it before on this blog, but if I had cancer or some other similarly nasty sickness where some foundation gave me a wish - I would wish to meet Margaret and David. I'm not kidding, Margaret and David are my cancer wish.

Fillet

P.S. Sorry, the hyperlinks are having some trouble. Will fix soon.

Little Miss BEST MOVIE EVER!

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 01:54:51 GMT

Of course, not better than Amelie but that just goes without saying. Sorry I've been a bit behind on the ol' blog but you can blame uni for that one. And TV. So yeah, I actually wrote this one a couple of days ago but just never got around to typing it up. So it'll be like going on a time travel expedition to about four days ago in my brain! So here we go.

The night before last I saw what is now in my top 5 films of all time.

But first I will tell you about the friend who missed out on it.

-----Side note: Natalie Dee reckons you should nevver blog about your riends so that they won't feel like you're going to be constantly "using them" for material. So far I've gbeen "using" my friends the whole life of this blog and it's always been seen as a privelage of sorts to be mentioned (which is kind of ironic, considering how unremarkable I am). If you really don't want me to talk about you then please tell me, but in all other cases, feel good - it means that I'm thinking of you. Be happy! But for now the friend will be nameless... to hide his SHAME. Heh heh.

So yes, the friend who missed it. The conversation went like this (over the phone):

Me: "Hey! Do you want to go to the movies with me and Jacinta?"

Friend: "What and where?"

Me: "Pac Fair, we're going to see Little Miss Sunshine"

Friend: "Uh, what?"

Me: "Litlle Miss Sunshine"

Friend: "That... what's it about?"

Me: (lamely) "It's about this little girl who enters a beauty pagent for little girls and it's in another city so her whole family has to drive there and it's about their trip together"

Friend: (sarcastically) "Gee, that sounds so tempting"

Me: "David and Margaret gave it good reviews"

Friend: "Uh, I have work to do"

Me: "Ok, fine, see you on Tuesday then"

Friend: "Yeah see you"

*we hang up phones*

Me: (to Jacinta) "He won't be doing any work, just playing computer games"

And he sure did just that.

I still can't explain the movie well - you never can with really good films. Whenever I try it ends up sounding like the National Lampoon's Family Vacation which it certainly is NOT.

But it was such a good film. It was optimistic in tone (despite dark elements) the characters were all mortally flawed (in the good way, as in, they were believable because they weren't perfect). I saw it the night before last and its still haunting me - I want to see it again!

I especially liked the realtionship between the suicidal uncle and the ararchist/emo brother. Aslo the girl and her crack-snorting grandfather. Did I mention that this isn't a children's film? Yeah, don't go brining the littlies with you.

It had a few mements where you thought that that could never, ever possibly happen ever but then you look at the 9-step motivational-speaker father and realise that with him behind the wheel of the yellow VW that keeps breaking but keeps on going that anything is believable.

I thought it was brilliant - and it got me listening to Sufjan Stevens again.

4.5 out of 5

Fillet

Barnyard Embarrasment

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 03:51:21 GMT

Ok, animated movies featuring talking animals is now SOOOOOOOO (SOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!) overdone. But I just noticed something about this particular movie that made me laugh my face off. I'll post a few pictures to see if you can spot it:

Can you see it?

How about now?

Ok, ok. I'll stop using up all your downloads with pictures. I'll tell you. The main character cow is supposed to be a boy yes? His voice is pretty deep for a girl anyway. And.. he... has... UDDERS! I mean, what? How? Why? Someone in the animation department ought to be fired right NOW! I mean, the film should never have been made in the first place but such an astronomical blunder just makes me wonder if any thought goes into these money spinners at all. I mean, a bull with udders would be like me with breasts! How did no one pick up on this until the movie was made?!?

For everyone's mental health I won't photoshop a picture of me with boobs but I'm sure you get the idea. It just doesn't happen. And don't go telling me that oh but it's just an animation! Lighten up you movie snob! because the secret to a good animation is to make it more or less true to life (ie. the humour would be funny even if it wasn't animated). This is just weird and a sign of the crappiness of the industry. There is no love in it anymore. We only care about the money, not about the art.

So yeah, don't go and see this movie. I haven't seen it and I'm not going to. Just don't encourage these mindless animations with crappy scripts. Finding Nemo was excellent, so was The Incredibles. Shrek one and two were good until teachers killed them by playing them over and over again because they were funny and inoffencive. And clever. These new animations, however, are none of those things and I think we need to protest.

Who's with me?

Fillet

In The Bin

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 05:14:55 GMT

No, I'm not talking about trash. It was a film festival. And it was very good.

(Note, this blog entry is being copied in my other blog for Foundations of Digital Video)

I missed some of the other nights with the short films etc but when I went last night it was supposedly the 'Board Shorts' festival - the sports related short films. Fortunately though, there were only two of those. I say fortunately because there is only so many films of people jumping off things on bikes to the sounds of I Do My Crosswords In Pen (a heavy metal band). Actually I don't know if that was the band or not, Rick just told me about them and I thought it was a funny name.

The others were mostly good - the comedies especially. I did notice, though, that most of them just ran like story jokes, you know, with a lead up and a punch line. I guess that's because there isn't enough time for real character development.

There were a number of comedies that stood out, one about a guy who needs $200 to pay off the Mob so he goes to a sperm bank and tries to make a deposit in five minutes (awkward...)

There was one about a guy trying to break up with his comatose fiancé, and another about a girl who kills her boyfriend and an old woman who finds out but then she gets back together with another boyfriend who she'd broken up with because she calls him to help get rid of the bodies. (These strike me now as being rather off colour humour but they're really not. Not really.)

There was a comedy/drama/romance about a couple who have a huge domestic (with martial arts, plate smashing, potato masher fencing, knife fights, broom stick beatings and WWF-style wrestling) over nothing and then it has a heart-warming ending.

There was a documentary that was very well done about a Greens politician who runs in every election but never wins.

There were also a few that were so 'artistic' as to be obscure. Like the one about the boy who (for some reason?!?) buries rabbits in the snow but one day doesn't make the air-hole big enough so the rabbit dies. Then when he goes to bury the dead rabbit in the ground he stays out in the cold for too long and then dies.

A really good film played during the intermission. It was an animation set on one of those blue decorated Chinese plates (bear with me here) where the characters lived in the little porcelain houses. It was about a girl who was about to be married to a Chinese warlord who she didn't love but then a friend of hers who she does love comes and whisks her away. There is a funny ending.

It was all pretty awesome, I'm glad I went. Next time I won't miss the other nights. Also, we were sitting on a curtain because we couldn't find a blanket.

Fillet.

Best, Worst Movie EVER!!!

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 01:43:08 GMT

In celebration of me getting my licence, Jacinta, Ellen, Tom and I went to see - on it's opening night - Snakes on a Plane. (DAMNIT! The toolbar still isn't working! Here is the URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/)

This movie was everything anyone could ever hope for. And I mean that seriously. Unfortunately, I think this movie is going to fail at the box office. On it's opening night at the 9:15 screening during late night shopping there were only us and another group of teenagers in the cinema. This is a shame because the skill of this movie is astounding. Not only is it a genuinely thrilling... er... thriller, it also sends up the thriller genre. It also has some great one-liners, most of them innapropriate to print here (being linked to by Christain organisations and everything).

The characters are stereotypes, every one - but intentionally so, the movie makes fun of them all from the black rapper who doesn't like to touch people, the blonde ditzy Paris Hilton-type character complete with miniscule dog (guess what happens to the dog... guess), the fat, pompus British guy, the hard-as-nails FBI agent, the Asian martial arts expert... I could go on. So what happens to all these people when they board a plane filled with venomous, hyper-snakes? I think you can already tell, but it's just so good to see it play out in front of you.

Don't get me wrong, this film genuinely gets you squirming in your seat. You feel for the characters and don't want to see them all bitten up. You worry about what's going to happen and if the guy who really matters (you'll get what I mean when you see it) will survive. But if you go and see this movie and don't laugh all the way through, you have missed the point. (Like those other teenagers did. They suck.)

That's the skill in this film. You're thinking "Oh no! The plane is full of snakes and I don't know if they're going to survive!" but then you're also thinking "Oh my goodness! This movie is about snakes on a plane! I mean... snakes... on a plane!" This leads to the very strange situation of covering your eyes while you're crying from laughter. That's never happened to me before.

Oh, and make sure you pick up the 'flight safety' sheet on what to do in the event of snakes on a plane. It'll be there somewhere. Pick it up on your way out. It's halarious and may become a collector's item in the (inevitable) event of this movie becoming a cult classic.

I'd like to say that this movie - the concept for which came from a Happy Hour discussion between directors to come up with the worst pitch for a movie ever - would be a box-office sucess. But it won't. Like all cult classics, it will flop. Then they will start selling DVDs. Then they will make millions. So GO TO THIS MOVIE WHILE IT IS IN THE CINEMAS just so you can tell your children about the time you saw it on the big screen with the surround sound and how scary it was to hear the rattling and slithering coming from behind you as you were watching.

Just... see it. Ok?

Fillet

I Have... A Room!

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 14:33:30 GMT

Well it's now official, I have a room for the first time in what must be at least a month. I haven't had one since the Uniting Church National Assembly which was back at the start of July. Seeing it's now the 21st of August (well... the night of the 20th) that's actually nearly two months.

I think I need to break in my bed again.

In other news I saw Brick today. Let me say, it's much better than Miami Vice, the film it opened against. Miami Vice was crap people, see Brick instead. And yes, if you're wondering, it is that chick from Lost who plays Em, the girl the lead character is looking for. So now we can all stop asking one another.

Ok, must sleep. Knowing work they'll call me in tomorow and I need to be alert for it. I worked today, well... yesterday (the 20th) as well. I was surprised, they normally don't spring the extra money to employ me on a Sunday. I'm glad they did though, now the children will eat tonight.

Fillet - "Maybe I'll just sit here and bleed at you"

P.S. Here is a picture of my kid at school, except for the fact I don't plan on having children until way after 2010 and that I won't be a mother even when I do. Still, I thought it was funny.

Just a Little Man With a Little Movie. Such a Little Movie.

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 14:30:43 GMT

I was going to write an essay about what a torrid state Christian music is in after I read an aritcle on the net but then I realised that I've already written one like that. So what do I start doing? Chewing my fingernails. I've been doing this since I can remember and as far as I can tell I've never enjoyed it. Does that mean I'm... addicted? Like as in heroin?

Sorry. I saw Trainspotting the other day and I just can't get over it.

Speaking of movies, I have this halarious story to tell you all, and no, it doesn't involve David or Margaret. See, last night I went with some friends to see Little Man. Sure, it won't be the most intellectually stimulating fare but it's got that guy from Scary Movie... oh yeah.

This, honestly, is the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever.

...

EVER!

Don't see it children, if this movie was a person it would be the devil except with serious mental retardation. Plus anyone that he touched would also become mentally retarded and anyone who looked him in the eyes would have their IQ lowered by... oh lets say... 50 points. Plus he would laugh without opening his mouth properly so it would come out like 'Herherherherhermermermoomummer'.

Don't see it.

But (thankfully) that isn't the funny story! The highlight of this film for me was the ads at the begining and (honestly) I've stopped heaping great, steamy piles of derision on this film. The ads at the start were totally awesome! Let me set the scene for you:

We're sitting down in the cinema and a movie ad comes on. It's all dark and that tone they use in horror movies comes on. You know the one, it goes dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn so you know someone's about to die. Well the movie is going dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn and some words come up on the screen. They say, "This year there have been movies with powerful superheroes" dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn "With unbreakable codes" dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn etc etc and then it says "But what they didn't have" dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn "Was snakes on a plane".

huh?

Then there's this shot of an aeroplane crawling with snakes (although the don't really crawl do they?) and one comes and bites the pilot and he dies. People are screaming and men are yelling very serious conversations at one another right in each other's faces just so they can both be in the shot at once. Then a snake bursts through a light fitting on the plane and it all goes black.

Well I laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I filled the entire cinema with laughter. I was laughing so loud and so hard that it was almost embarrasing. Snakes on a plane! Priceless. I'd heared about the film before from my friend Rick who told me that it was originally supposed to be called Flight 121 but Samuel L. Jackson, bless him, insisted that it be called Snakes on a Plane. Thankyou Sam, you are my hero.

And so that was the highlight of my moviegoing experience. Just checking, but Little Man has obtained the prestegious position of #23 on the 100 Lowest Rated movies in the Internet Movie Database. Even a movie called Santa Claus Conquers the Martians beat it. Oh well, at least it beat Santa With Muscles...

Don't get me wrong, I was glad to be with my friends again so in that respect the night was a sucess. And how were we to know that the movie would be rubbish? Now we can laugh together in scorn at this little... thing.

David and Margaret go at it agian

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 04:27:56 GMT

Anyone who knows me well will know that on Wednesday nights I am NOT abaliable. I am watching the ABC and I will NOT be distracted. (For anyone who tries to ring me on a Wednesday night be prepared for some really half-assed conversation on my part).

It's the Comedy night! Plus At the Movies with my all-time favourite non-music stars, David and Margaret. Seriously, if I had cancer and one of those make a wish foundations gave me a wish it would be to meet them. I'm not kidding.

Now admitedly their show is on late because, well, it's not prime-time viewing. Let's face it, watching two middle-aged film critics argue over whether a movie was 'artistic' or 'obscure' isn't all that entertaining for the non-movie buff. You know those non-movie buffs: "I've paid my $10.40 so now I want to see explosions." You know the type because you probnably ARE the type. You Philistine.

But last Wednesday was glorious. Absolutely glorious. they were reviewing The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. I thought it would be the standard 'The plot was shot, the actors were wooden and the director has no brain. This movie should have its own island and never leave. Next!'

But no.

Instead Margaret declares that she loved the film despite all the derision David has heaped upon it and, against her better judgement, she gives it 3 1/2 stars (out of 5). This resulting hilarity ensured. To paraphrease the whole thing David retorts that it was a stupid film and that it only deservs 1 star. Margaret says 'Oh I'm not saying it's anything but stupid!' David then takes a swipe at her and they mud wrestle.

*cough*

Ok ok so there was no actual violence or mud involved but the verbal gymnastics they went through during the review were totally priceless.

M: "Ok so the plot was bad but it had beautiful composition and a VERY beautiful Mustang"

D: "I thought that was a horse"

M: "It is David! But oh! Oh David! It's also the symbol on the car!"

D: "Yes well..."

M: "Oh David!"

D: "Can you tell I'm not a petrol head?"

M: "Oh David! Did you know it shows?"

And to finish off the whole show:

D: "That's all from us tonight"

M: (Barely controling her laughter) "Yes goodnight!"

D: "And that was Margaret, my highly esteemed colleague who just reccomended a Fast and Furious movie"

M: "Oh David!"

-- Roll Credits --

Perhaps you actually needed to be there but you could just tell that David, Margaret and the whole of the crew cracked up as soon as they were allowed. By this point I had tears of laughter pouring down my face it was so halarious.

I love that show.